Stop Googling your divorce. Start organizing it.

What Happens

This is where you assess your situation and make the critical decision about how to proceed. You'll consult with a divorce attorney or consultant to understand your rights, explore whether an uncontested or contested divorce is likely, and begin preparing financially and emotionally.

Key Actions

• Consult with 2–3 attorneys to find the right fit
• Gather financial documents (tax returns, pay stubs, bank statements)
• Open individual bank account and credit card if needed
• Document all marital assets and debts
• Consider therapy or counseling for emotional support

Documents to Prepare

• Last 3 years of tax returns
• Recent pay stubs for both spouses
• Bank and investment account statements
• Mortgage and loan documents
• Insurance policies

What Happens

One spouse (the "petitioner") files a Petition for Dissolution of Marriage with the appropriate court. The other spouse (the "respondent") must be formally served with the papers and given a set number of days to file a response.

Key Actions

• File the Petition for Dissolution at your county courthouse
• Pay the filing fee (typically $200–$400)
• Arrange for service of process on your spouse
• File a summons along with the petition
• If applicable, file for temporary emergency orders

Documents Needed

• Petition for Dissolution of Marriage
• Summons
• Financial affidavit (required in most states)
• Parenting plan (if children are involved)
• Filing fee or fee waiver application

What Happens

While the divorce is pending, either party can request the court to issue temporary orders. These establish rules for the interim period and cover critical issues like who stays in the home, temporary custody, and financial obligations.

Types of Temporary Orders

• Temporary child custody and visitation schedule
• Temporary child support and spousal support
• Exclusive use of marital home
• Restraining orders (if domestic violence is a concern)
• Orders preventing dissipation of marital assets
• Insurance continuation orders

What Happens

Both spouses are legally required to fully disclose their financial situation. This is often the longest and most contentious phase. Discovery tools include interrogatories (written questions), depositions (sworn testimony), requests for production of documents, and subpoenas.

Key Actions

• Complete mandatory financial disclosure forms
• Respond to interrogatories within the deadline
• Gather all requested financial documents
• Consider hiring a forensic accountant if assets are complex
• Get appraisals for real estate, businesses, and valuable property
• Review spouse's disclosures carefully for hidden assets

What Happens

Most divorce cases are resolved through negotiation or mediation rather than trial. A neutral mediator helps both parties reach agreement on disputed issues. This phase can save significant time, money, and emotional stress.

Negotiation Topics

• Division of marital property and debts
• Child custody and parenting time schedule
• Child support calculations
• Spousal support (alimony) amount and duration
• Retirement account division (QDRO)
• Health insurance and benefits continuation
• Tax filing considerations

Tips for Success

• Come prepared with a clear list of priorities vs. negotiables
• Focus on interests, not positions
• Keep children's best interests as the guiding principle
• Consider long-term financial impact, not just immediate gains

What Happens

When both parties reach agreement (either through negotiation or mediation), a formal Settlement Agreement (also called a Marital Settlement Agreement or Separation Agreement) is drafted. This legally binding document covers every aspect of the divorce.

Settlement Agreement Covers

• Complete property division schedule
• Debt allocation between spouses
• Parenting plan and custody schedule
• Child support amount and payment terms
• Alimony/spousal support terms
• Insurance and benefit arrangements
• Tax filing agreements
• Name change provisions (if applicable)

What Happens

If negotiation and mediation fail, the case proceeds to trial. Both sides present evidence, call witnesses, and make arguments. A judge (not a jury, in most states) makes final decisions on all contested issues. Only about 5% of divorce cases reach trial.

Trial Preparation

• Work with your attorney to prepare exhibits and witness lists
• Organize all financial documents chronologically
• Prepare for direct examination and cross-examination
• Consider expert witnesses (appraisers, child psychologists, forensic accountants)
• Dress professionally and remain calm throughout proceedings

What Happens

The judge reviews and signs the Final Decree of Divorce (or Judgment of Dissolution). Once entered by the court clerk, you are legally divorced. This document contains all final orders regarding property, custody, and support.

Important Steps

• Obtain certified copies of the decree (you'll need several)
• Review the decree carefully for accuracy
• File the decree with the county recorder if required
• Note any appeal deadlines (typically 30 days)
• Keep the decree in a safe, accessible place permanently

What Happens

The divorce is final, but the work isn't over. Now you must implement everything in the decree — transfer property, divide accounts, set up support payments, and restructure your financial life.

Post-Decree Checklist

• Transfer real estate titles (quitclaim deeds)
• Divide retirement accounts via QDRO (Qualified Domestic Relations Order)
• Update beneficiaries on all accounts, insurance, and wills
• Close joint bank accounts and credit cards
• Update your estate plan (will, trust, power of attorney)
• Notify the IRS of filing status change
• Update your driver's license and Social Security if changing name
• Set up child support payment tracking
• Enroll in individual health insurance if losing coverage